A Few Jokes for St. Patrick's Day

As a joke collector and joke wrangler, I try to have a joke for every topic and every occasion. Here are some of the jokes that I’ve been telling on St. Patrick’s Day for decades:

Q. What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

A. There’s one less drunk at a wake. (Or one more stiff.)

• • • •

Q. What’s a seven-course Irish dinner?

A. A six-pack and a potato.

•  •  •  •

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A. To a different bar.

•  •  •  •

Q. What’s Irish and stays out all summer?

A. Paddy O’Furniture.

•  •  •  •

Q. What’s the definition of a queer Irishman?

A. A fellow who prefers women over whiskey.

•  •  •  •

There are lots more Irish jokes that I’ve chosen not to include. Many of them (like those above) turn on the matter of drunkenness, and Irish folks really don’t have any corner on the market for that, plus many are in really questionable taste. Still, most Irish folks have a pretty good sense of humor and can appreciate a chuckle even at their own expense. Except for the leprechauns, the “little people”: you try to tell them a joke, it goes right over their heads, every time!

ST