Joe Passes the Torch
Guess who's generously offered to assume the emperor's mantle?
[Note to Readers: I kept a barf-bag close at hand while writing this; you might be well-advised to do the same while reading it.]
We’ve heard pundits from both sides of the American political divide posit that Joe Biden has passed his “sell-by date” and is only standing for re-election [assuming that he was fairly elected in the first place!] because his family members (and particularly his wife, the amazing Doctor Jill Biden) are reticent to relinquish the power and perks they so enjoy as the “First Family.”
Well, you’ll be happy to learn that the situation has now been resolved. In a gesture that showcases the sense of patriotism and sacrifice that characterizes the entire Biden family, Hunter Biden, the President’s only living son, has graciously offered to step up and assume his father’s duties at the helm of this great nation, and to take his father’s place on the ballot in November.
In doing so, he has magnanimously chosen to step away from his own career as an internationally sought-after (and lavishly-paid) consultant to oil and gas companies and his flourishing avocation as an author and an artist (whose works command a king’s ransom). He is even prepared to minimize the time spent with his own family as a dedicated husband and loving father of four five any number of children.
He has not yet announced whether he will suspend or curtail his other significant avocations: his selfless personal research into the effects of certain pharmaceutical and naturally-occurring substances on the human body, and his benevolent, philanthropic support of young women struggling to make their way in the ecdysiast and courtesan industries.
One of the advantages he’ll have in relating to foreign leaders is that many of them likely share an interest in the above-mentioned activities. Sharing such experiences will create stronger bonds and surely trumps sharing a round or two of golf!
By picking up and donning his father’s mantle, he will ensure a perpetuation of the quality of leadership that has marked his father’s long and distinguished career in public service, as Hunter fulfills what is clearly his destiny, to be the new Leader of the Free World.
It’s reminiscent of the way that Joseph P. Kennedy Sr. had great plans for his eldest son, Joe Jr., to be president. When Joe Jr., a Navy flyer, was killed in combat in 1944, another son, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, was moved to honor his father’s dream and pursue the presidency. Similarly, Hunter is stepping up to honor the dream his father had for his older brother, Beau (whom Joe Biden never tires of reminding us succumbed to brain cancer believed contracted while serving in a combat zone in Iraq).
We should, all of us, count ourselves incalculably lucky to have a man of such intelligence (Remember, his father has described him as “the smartest man I know…in pure intellectual capacity”), distinction, and inspiring family loyalty willing to be so very altruistic in service to his country.
We can all breathe a sigh of relief that our nation’s political dilemma has been solved, the threat to our democracy has been quelled, and we will surely be in good hands.
ST
I’m excited for the chance of a Hunter presidency. He is already so accomplished (and self taught) that there is no doubt he will do wonders for the country. It should be easy enough with photoshop to change the name from Joseph to Hunter on the already prefilled out ballots.
I'm not so sure of this. Doctor Jill is more mature than Hunter, in years anyway, and she's already won the Edith Wilson Award (Edith Wilson essentially was president when Woodrow Wilson suffered a stroke and could not tend to his office. Edith kept everyone away from him as he lay ill, and she ran the country.) Since Jill has already pretty much run the country already she might as well run for the office she already ran.